Hold On
by theawkwardtimelady
Summary: Hermione comes back from holidays. But she's changed. Will her friends be able to save her?
1. Eyes Never Lie

"You okay, 'Mione?"

Hermione jerked out of her thoughts and forced a smile. "I'm fine,"

"Are you sure?" Ron asked, concern evident on his face.

"Absolutely." Hermione struggled to keep her smile in place.

"Okay, Harry and I are going to the next compartment over if you want to come."

"No thank you, I have some reading to do."

"Okay, if you're sure."

Hermione waited until the boys were outside before she let her smile slip and curled up on the floor.

"Calm yourself!" she thought as the tears streamed down her face, "In 15 minutes, the train will pull into the station. Pull yourself together!" Hermione managed to calm herself down just as the train came to a stop. Harry and Ron burst into the compartment.

"What are you doing on the floor?" Ron asked.

"I-I fell." Hermione stood up, brushing herself off and discreetly wiping her eyes. "Just me being clumsy!" Her friends bought her lame excuse and she followed them off the train and into the castle.

"Miss Granger!"

Hermione turned to face the head of her house and plastered a smile to her face. "Hello, professor! How was your break?"

"Miss Granger, I've just received a rather peculiar owl from Molly Weasley." Hermione's heart sank as Professor McGonagall continued. "I'd like to discuss the owl with you after the sorting."

"Oh, professor, I'm sure it's nothing!"

"Quite the contrary! You will meet me outside the Great Hall after the sorting." Professor McGonagall walked away before Hermione could argue.

Hermione fidgeted nervously all through the sorting wondering what McGonagall had in store for her. As soon as the last person removed the sorting hat, Hermione excused herself from the table and stepped outside the Great Hall. McGonagall joined her and they walked in silence to her office. Once inside, McGonagall gestured for Hermione to sit. "As I said before the sorting, I received an owl from Molly Weasley that I would like to discuss with you." She slid a crumpled piece of parchment across the table. "I believe you know what this is?"

Hermione smoothed the parchment with shaking hands and looked down at her own handwriting. "Y-yes. I know what this is."

McGonagall reached across the desk and took Hermione's hand in her own. "Do you understand what is going to happen now?"

"N-no."

"Now you're going to tell me what happened."

"I-I can't,"

"I'm sorry dear, but you must."

Hermione took a deep breath and dug her nails into her palm, drawing blood. "I don't want you to think poorly of me."

"Never," McGonagall promised.

"I was outside one night. I wasn't dressed in a provocative manner, I was just outside enjoying the night air."

"And then?" McGonagall prompted gently.

"And then, and then, and then...Professor, I'm pregnant." Hermione burst into tears. "I pretended I was fine in the hopes I'd wake up fine and nothing would have happened. But my parents found the pregnancy test and threw me out of the house. They said that I need to marry the man who did this to me before I come back."

McGonagall passed her a tissue, "Miss Granger, do you mean to imply that this...situation was caused by someone you don't know?"

"Y-yes," Hermione blew her nose.

Professor McGonagall walked around her desk and pulled Hermione into her arms, stroking her hair as she held her. "Oh, child, I wish I could tell you things would get easier. I wish I could tell you the hard part is over. But then, I'd be lying if I told you that."

"What do you mean?"

"Miss Granger, there are reports to be made. We have to get you checked out."

"No! No, I don't want to strip down and have people touch me."

"I know, but we have to make sure you're okay."

"No! I'm not okay! Isn't that obvious? I'm pregnant, covered in scars, and even when soaking wet I don't weigh 100 pounds!"

"Oh, my dear," McGonagall rocked Hermione gently as the child sobbed into her robes, "I'm here. I'm going to keep you safe."

Hermione slowly lifted her head, "Professor, don't you have to go to the feast?"

"I've fulfilled my duties. Now, would you object to me allowing Molly in through the floo so she can talk to you?"

"What for?"

"You may be surprised to learn that Molly worked in the child protection field. She pulled some strings so that she could be the one to interview you and write the official report. She thought a familiar face would make you feel better. Madam Pomfrey will help Molly check you over but Molly will be doing the interviewing. And myself, if you want me to stay."

"Would you?" Hermione asked, pressing a hand to her stomach.

"Of course. May I let her in?"

"Yes,"

Minerva waved her hand in the direction of the fireplace and a blur of red hair rushed into the room, gathering Hermione in a hug.

"Oh, Hermione, I'm so, so sorry! I should have known! I should have helped you!"

Hermione gently removed herself from Mrs. Weasley's vice-like grip. "It's okay. It isn't your fault. It's mine."

"Hermione Granger, it was in no way your fault! Don't believe that." Hermione nodded and wiped her eyes as Mrs. Weasley turned to Minerva. "Minerva, would you go get Madam Pomfrey while I begin the interview?"

"Of course," Minerva gave Hermione's shoulder a gentle squeeze before she stood and left.

Molly pulled a quill and parchment out of her bag. "I'm going to ask you some questions. Try to be as honest as possible."

Hermione nodded.

"Now, first off, how has the support from your parents been? I know from the note that they've kicked you out. But did they offer any kind of support?"

Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "No, no support from them." Molly scribbled on her parchment while Hermione bit back tears.

"Did you have plenty to eat while living there?"

"They let me eat a few times a week and when we had people over."

"Was there physical abuse?"

"Yes, there was lots of physical abuse."

"Can you-"

"Mrs. Weasley, I can't. I'm sorry, I can't."

"We can take a break if you want."

Hermione stood up. "I need some air. And I need to go on my own."

"I'd prefer if I came-"

Hermione cut her off. "I have to go on my own." Before she could argue, Hermione walked into the hallway. She crept past the open doors to the Great Hall and continued towards the Astronomy tower. She finally let her tears fall as memories came flooding back to her. All the punishments for accidental magic, all the times her father came into her room at night, all the times her parents allowed other men into her room at night...Her tears blinded her and she collided with someone.

"Sorry," she mumbled, trying to move around the person.

A gentle hand gripped her arm, preventing her from walking away while another hand wiped her tears away.

"Now, my dear," the voice said, "why don't we sit so we can talk face to face?"

Hermione allowed herself to be guided to a chair. Once seated, she looked up. Albus Dumbledore looked back at her, eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles.

"Miss Granger, where were you going when you're supposed to be in Professor McGonagall's office?"

"To the astronomy tower, sir."

"May I ask why?"

Hermione looked at her hands "I-I needed some air, sir."

Dumbledore looked sadly at Hermione. "I believe there's more to it. Were you perhaps planning to jump?"

"How-"

"Let's get you back to Molly before she organizes a search party."

Hermione accepted the hand offered to her and followed Dumbledore back to Minerva's office.

"Albus, you found her!" Molly wrapped Hermione in her arms.

"Molly, I believe it would be best for Miss Granger to sleep while Poppy performs the examinations."

"Of course, thank you for finding her."

Dumbledore nodded and left. Hermione allowed Mrs. Weasley wrap her in a blanket and settle her on the couch. Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey joined them a short while later. Professor McGonagall wrapped Hermione in a tight hug.

"Oh, thank Merlin, Albus found you."

"Professor, I can't breathe!" Hermione freed herself from her mentor's grasp. Madam Pomfrey tutted and wrapped the blanket tighter around Hermione. Professor McGonagall cleared her throat and straightened her robes.

"We're going to give you a sleeping draught while Poppy examines you. Then, you will stay with me until you are cleared to return to classes."

Hermione nodded, accepting the goblet. She was asleep in seconds. Madam Pomfrey and Mrs. Weasley gently removed her clothes while Professor McGonagall held her hand in an effort to keep Hermione calm as she slept. Molly cried out when she saw the extent of Hermione's injuries.

"What kind of monster would do this?!"

Madam Pomfrey ran her wand along Hermione's body, causing her to glow bright blue with hints of red. "All of the blue is from abuse. The red is self-inflicted."

Professor McGonagall bit her lip to keep her tears at bay.

"Molly," Madam Pomfrey said, face pale, "be a dear and fetch Severus. She's not going to like it but we need his Legilimency skills."

Molly looked hesitantly at Hermione before she nodded and left.

"Why Severus?" McGonagall asked.

"She's built up so many mental shields that I can't get in to find out what happened. He should be able to get past them."

A moment later, Professor Snape walked into the room with Molly at his heels. "What could possibly be so important that I had to postpone my annual meeting with my house?" he snarled.

"Severus!" Madam Pomfrey glared at him.

Professor McGonagall looked up. "Severus, please. We need to get into her mind."

"What has the insufferable know-it-all gotten herself into?" Snape drawled.

"Absolutely nothing!" Molly snapped. "Unless you consider building up mental walls to prevent us from knowing about all the abuse she's endured! I most certainly don't."

Snape paled upon hearing Molly's words. "Abuse? What abuse?"

"Why don't you look and tell us?" Molly said, crossing her arms.

Snape nodded and cleared his throat before kneeling beside Hermione and carefully entering her mind.


	2. Courage, Dear Heart

Snape saw Hermione curled into herself with her hands over her ears. He walked towards her and she screamed. Hundreds of memories came rushing towards him and he found himself lifted off his feet as they sucked him in. His feet hit the ground and he looked around him. A 5-year-old Hermione sat on her bedroom floor, watching as her paper cranes flew around her room.

"Hermione!" a kind voice called out. "Where are you?"

"I'm in my room, mummy!"

A brunette woman poked her head around the corner. "There you are-HERMIONE JEAN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!"

The paper cranes dropped to the floor as Hermione clapped her hands over her ears. "I'm sorry, mummy!"

"You had better be sorry! Get over here right now!"

Hermione slowly got to her feet and walked to the doorway. Her mother grabbed her arm and pulled her into the hallway. Snape followed and saw that Hermione's mother had a lit cigarette in the hand not gripping Hermione's arm. Snape braced himself for what he knew was coming and turned away. He listened to Hermione cry out and turned back to see the round cigarette burn on her arm.

"Mummy, I'm sorry!" Hermione wailed.

"You. Are. A. Freak!" her mother punctuated every word with another burn.

Hermione's screams and the smell of burning flesh was overwhelming. Severus closed his eyes and whispered: "You'll be safe with Minerva." before exiting her mind.

"Well?" Molly demanded the second Snape his eyes.

"You were right. So many horrible things have been done to her. It's a wonder she's alive. I believe she will best recover under the care of Minerva."

"Me? Why me?"

"Isn't it obvious, Minerva?" Molly said "You're the head of her house and the girl loves you."

"But...I don't know the first thing about parenting!"

"You know that's not true!"

"Why don't we wake her and ask her ourselves?" Snape sneered. "Ennervate!"

Hermione opened her eyes, tears still streaming down her face.

"Hermione," Molly said, "after you are removed from your parent's custody, you will require a new, preferably magical, guardian. Is there any one particular you would like the ministry to consider?"

"Yes, I do. But she may not want to."

"Who is it?"

Hermione blushed. "I was hoping that Professor McGonagall would be willing…"

"Well, then it's settled. I'll call in to prepare the paperwork. Minerva, I'll send an owl with the trial details." Molly walked over to the fireplace, too her floo powder and said "The Burrow!" leaving Minerva and Hermione on their own.


	3. Just A Little Less Pain

Minerva turned to Hermione. "It's late and I'm sure you're tired but you need to eat before bed."

"But-"

"Nope, no 'buts'. You at least need to eat some toast. It'll help with anxious energy. And then I'll show you where you'll be staying."

"Can't I just stay in the Gryffindor Tower?"

"Not until Poppy has cleared you to go back to classes. Until then, you'll be staying with me so I can be sure you're safe."

Hermione thought longingly of the razors she had tucked into her trunk. "Is my trunk already here?"

"Yes, your trunk has already been moved. And there's toast that we can eat here or in the Great Hall. It's up to you."

"Can we go down to the kitchen to _make_ the toast?"

McGonagall pursed her lips. "You may remember that students are not supposed to encroach on the house elves."

"I know, but I want to make it myself. Please?"

"No, not tonight. I'll send for toast to sent to my-our- quarters." McGonagall led Hermione through a door at the far end of her office. "We both have our own bedrooms, so long as you prove that you can be left alone, it will stay that way. We also have a shared living space. Now, why don't you go change into something more comfortable while I send for the toast?"

"Alright," Hermione went into the room that she had been shown and threw open her trunk.

"Professor?" she called as she pulled her robes over her head and threw them into the trunk."

"Yes?"

"I-um...can you come in here?  
"Is something wrong?"

"No! Yes? I don't know."

Hermione stood awkwardly in her underwear while she listened to Professor McGonagall's footsteps getting closer. When she reached the doorway, Hermione was in tears. Professor McGonagall gently gathered the sobbing child into her arms and lowered them to the floor.

"Hush now, Mo Stoirín. I've got you. You're okay. You're safe. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Gradually, Hermione's tears subsided. Professor McGonagall summoned a soft, red blanket and swaddled the nearly naked teen in her lap.

"Do you want to talk?"

Hermione sniffled and burrowed into the blanket. "It hurts."

"What hurts?"

"My heart. It aches." Hermione clenched her fist. "Professor Dumbledore brought me back here. I could've ended everyone's problems."

"That's nonsense! You are not a problem!"

"Then I am a burden."

"No!"

"Are you or are you not taking the time to care for me?"

"Yes, but-"

"Is another teacher covering for you until Madam Pomfrey deems me stable? If not, will another teacher be watching me while you teach?"

"Well, yes…"

"Then I am a burden."

"No!"

"Why not? Can you convince me otherwise?"

Minerva blinked, opened her mouth and then closed it again.

"Ha! You can't convince me otherwise. You should have let me jump. It would have ended my suffering and prevented the suffering of the child I am carrying."

"Miss Granger-"

"Professor, please. I want to be alone right now"

Minerva started to argue but thought better of it. "Very well. You have 10 minutes. I'll be right outside and when you're 10 minutes are up, we'll talk more."

Hermione nodded and watched the door close before she reached into her trunk and pulled out an ornate box that she had gotten on holiday. Inside it, lay a dozen razor blades. Selecting one, she double checked the door before sitting in the corner. She placed a hand on her belly.

"It's alright little one," she whispered, turning the blade in her hand. "You're alright."

Placing the blade against her wrist, she closed her eyes.

"It'll be alright," she said, drawing the blade down her arm. The blade hit the floor with a clatter.

"Hermione? Miss Granger, are you alright? Open the door, please. Let me in."

Hermione could hear McGonagall's tone becoming more and more frantic. The door slammed into the wall and she felt strong arms lifting her before she lost consciousness.


	4. Toska

"It was my fault."

"No, Minnie, it wasn't your fault."

Hermione blinked as the hospital wing swam into view. Her arm ached and her head felt full of cotton.

"Professor?" she croaked.

"Miss Granger, you're awake!"

Madame Pomfrey began checking her vitals while Professor McGonagall enveloped her in a fierce hug.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again." she said into Hermione's hair.

"I'm sorry."

Minerva sighed. "I know. I know you're under a lot of stress. But this isn't healthy. You have to get better. The trial is next week."

Hermione shot up. "Next week?"

Minerva gently pushed her back down. "Yes, next week. You need to get better because you have to testify."

"What?!"

"I don't like it any more than you do. But Cornelius 'I know everything' Fudge is requiring your statement before the Wizengamot."

Madame Pomfrey pressed a kiss on Minerva's forehead. "Love, you know he's only trying to help."

Minerva leaned into the other witch. "Yes, I know dear, but he's doing a terrible job."

Madame Pomfrey laughed and ran her hand over Minerva's back, pressed a kiss to the top of her head before bustling back to her office. Hermione raised an eyebrow at Minerva.

"That, Miss Granger, is a conversation for another day. Right now, you need to go back to sleep."

_A/N: Just a little teaser while I work on the next bit. Don't hate me, I promise the next one will be longer. What do you think about Poppy and Minerva? _

_Thank you all for reading and reviewing!_

_theawkwardtimelady_


	5. Serendipity

One Month Later...

Hermione looked at herself in the mirror. Her dress hung off of her slight frame and she sighed, bringing a hand up to rest on her belly.

"Hello," she whispered. "Mummy wants to tell you she loves you. And mummy will never, ever hurt you."

Madame Pomfrey poked her head around the doorway. "Are you ready to go?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

Hermione followed her out of her room and stopped by the fireplace, where Professor McGonagall was waiting.

"Will the floo hurt the baby?" Hermione asked her anxiously.

"No, it may make you slightly nauseous. But it will not hurt your baby."

"Okay, I'm ready then." Hermione took a pinch of floo powder and shouted "Ministry of Magic!"

Professor McGonagall was close behind and dusted them both off when they arrived.

"Are you alright, Miss Granger? You're looking rather green."

Hermione swallowed thickly. "I'm fine professor. I just want to get this over with."

"Let's go then."

When they walked into the courtroom, Hermione froze, dread filling her veins. "I can't do this," she whispered.

"Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall placed a comforting hand on her back. "It's alright. I'm right here. This won't take long."

_(A/N I was originally going to write this scene but due to personal issues, I am going to skip to the end of it. I will let you know if I go back and add it later)_

Madame Bones stood from her seat.

"The court has decided. Due to child endangerment and abuse, we will be stripping Mr. and Mrs. Granger of their parental rights and giving them to Professor Minerva McGonagall. Mr. and Mrs. Granger will be serving life sentences in Muggle prison. Their memories will be stripped. They will not remember that they ever had a daughter." Madame Bones gestured to the guards to remove the couple and begin stripping their memories. Then she turned to Hermione and smiled.

"You're free my dear. Now onto the next order of business. Would you like to change your name?"

Hermione looked at Professor McGonagall. "Is it okay?"

Professor McGonagall smiled. "I would be honored."

Hermione turned back to Madame Bones. "If it's not too much trouble, I would like my name changed from Hermione Jean Granger to Hermione Minerva McGonagall."

"It's no trouble at all. May I ask why you are changing your middle name?"

"I want any trace of the Grangers gone from my life. Jean was her first name. It seemed fitting to me that I should take Minerva as my middle name now."

Professor McGonagall wiped a tear from her eye as Madame Bones began filling out the paperwork.

"Minerva, Hermione, I would like to congratulate you both. I wish you all the best as you become a family."

"Thank you Madame Bones," Hermione said, "I don't think it will take us very long."

"We will see you in a couple of weeks to fill out the paperwork so that Poppy will also be your mother." Madame Bones told them. "I'm sorry we couldn't do that today."

"That's perfectly alright," McGonagall said, "She was a bit too busy today anyway."

"Have a safe trip back to Hogwarts."

"Thank you!"

Hermione and Minerva left the courtroom hand in hand.


	6. Alamort

Hermione set down her quill, the calm she had felt in the weeks since the trial shattered by the sudden warmth between her legs. She raised a shaking hand while pressing the other between her thighs.

"Professor Snape?"

Snape glanced up from his desk and snarled. Hermione fought the urge to put her hand down. When he saw that she was not going to put her hand down anytime soon, he got up and went to her desk.

"What is it Granger?" he demanded.

"Professor, I need the hospital wing."

Snape glared at her. She bit her lip and forced what was happening to the front of her mind while looking directly into his eyes. A million expressions flashed across his face before he nodded.

"Take your things and go," he growled.

Hermione grabbed her bag and left the classroom, headed straight for the hospital wing. By the time she reached it, her tears had blinded her.

"Madame Pomfrey," she gasped weakly, clutching her cramping stomach.

Madame Pomfrey wrapped an arm around Hermione and led her to an empty bed, drawing the privacy curtains around them.

"I've told you to call me Poppy," she murmured as she helped Hermione undress. She froze when she saw the growing pool of blood beneath Hermione. "Oh dear. Sit very still. I'm just going to floo Minnie. I will be right back."

Hermione could feel searing pain in her abdomen and lower back. Biting her lip, she gently pressed her hand between her legs, hoping to slow the blood. Madame Pomfrey rushed back to the bed.

"Minnie will be down as soon as her class is over. It's going to be okay. I need you to lie back and spread your legs so I can see what's going on."

Hermione began to tremble at the thought. "I-I can't."

"It's okay. You can. I'm not going to hurt you. I just need to look."

"Can't we wait until mum is done with class?"

"I wish we could, but I have to look. I promise I won't hurt you."

Hermione shook her head frantically but laid back, clenching and unclenching her fists.

"It's alright my dear, I won't hurt you."

"That's what he used to say." Hermione felt Poppy's gentle fingers freeze.

"Oh Hermione, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"You didn't know."

The privacy curtain opened slightly, allowing a small tabby cat to slip inside. Minerva McGonagall sat on the bed alongside her daughter and wife. Tears slipped down her face as she took in the blood on the bed and floor. She swooped in and clutched her daughter to her chest, drawing an annoyed sigh from her wife as her patient was moved away from her.

"Oh, Mo Stoirín," Minerva whispered into Hermione's hair. "It's going to be okay. I know it hurts but you're going to be okay. We'll support you through this."

Hermione pushed her away. "What are you talking about? What is 'this'?"

Minerva looked at her wife, "You didn't tell her?"

"I was going to wait until she was stable-"

"What are you talking about?" Hermione demanded.

Poppy sighed and readjusted herself so she had access to her patient. "Hermione, you suffered a miscarriage. All the stress of the last few weeks has been too much. I should have been monitoring you closer. I'm so sorry."

Hermione blinked, "What?"

Minerva pulled her closer, "Lass, your baby didn't survive."

"N-no, you're lying."

Poppy's expression softened. "I wish I could tell you we were. I wish I could grant you peace of mind. I'm sorry."

Hermione tugged at her hair, tears pooling anew. Minerva gently removed her hands from her hair and pressed her to her chest.

"It's alright. You're alright."

Hermione sobbed into her mother's chest. "No, no, no,"

"I know there's no replacing what you've lost. I know you need time. But please, don't shut us out."

Hermione unraveled herself from her mother's embrace and sniffled. "I need a minute. Alone. Please."

Minerva looked over to Poppy and nodded. "We'll be in Poppy's office if you need us."

Hermione nodded and watched them retreating before carefully slipping out of the bedsheets and tiptoeing out of the hospital wing and into the corridor. She started for the astronomy tower and then changed direction, headed instead for the lake. She was almost there when she realized that a bluish glow had been following her since she left the Hospital Wing. Turning around, she found herself face to face with the Grey Lady.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked, "Why are you following me?"

"Hogwarts knows when its own are in trouble. I simply followed the call."

"What do you mean?"

"Lady Hogwarts sent me when she found one of her children in danger."

"How does a castle know if I'm in danger?" Hermione demanded, getting agitated.

"Surely you've read Hogwarts: A History."

"Of course I have!"

"The perhaps," said a silky voice behind her, "you will remember the safety measures put in place when a student hurts themselves the first time."

Hermione swallowed thickly and turned to face Severus Snape. He looked down at her.

"Care to explain why you aren't with your mothers?"

"I needed to get some air?"

"Don't lie to me Miss Granger. Come with me." He swept away towards the castle. Hermione looked back at the Grey Lady. She nodded and made a shooing motion with her ghostly hands.


End file.
